- Of all the people who have shoe polish for mustaches and eyebrows I think Groucho is the zaniest. #
- I get that a lot. RT @reeona @friedmanjon first read your name as Fried Man Jon. stupid? yes. Funny? Oh yes! #
- The annual Brooklyn version of The Rejection Show special edition 'I Lost on a Game Show' 8PM TONIGHT at @UnionHallNY! #
- Blimpie is the Heathcliffe to Subway's Garfield. #
- Playing Hide n' Go Seek by yourself isn't as much fun, especially when you're seeking. #
- Awww, soccer is on TV. Nice try soccer. Listen, call me in a few years. #
- New Band Name: Kubiak's Lunch #
- Barnes & Noble The Early Years: Hi Noble. Do you still have all those books that you want to unload? Yeah. Why? #
- "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" (silence) "Uh, is anyone there?" (silence) "There was no one there, honey." (multiple gunshots) #
- Now I'm starting to think Al Gore had porn in mind when he invented the internet. #
- I've learned that Mel Gibson and Christian Bale do not scream at people in their native accents. #
- IMG00048-20100726-1853 http://twitpic.com/298ee1 #
- "The TV show Alf was never properly concluded as a series." #ghostsofsitcomspast #
- Puns. #
- I Can't Believe It's Not Butter should not be stating my beliefs for me. #
- Oil leaks, Wikileaks, Mel Gibson phone leaks. 2010 is the year of leaks. #
- The rumors are true, @bobbytisdale and I break a world record on tonight's Late Night. Or do we? #
- No, I predict YOUR tweets. #predictingkanyetweets #
- RT @jinners @friedmanjon shared rejected lines from late night with jimmy fallon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmORGgnj6MQ #
- I Do Impressions: "Who aaaaaare these people?" #
- Why don't you make like a tree and prevent erosion while providing a weather-sheltered ecosystem in and under your foliage. #
- Happy Birthday! RT @MyDamnChannel It's our birthday weekend! We're gonna get so wasted and drunk dial all of you. #
- Yes, coming soon. Having a small tech issue. RT @JonasPolsky @friedmanjon totally terrific tweets this week? #
