- RT @gavinpurcell Thanks @shoemakermike @saraschafer1 @corycavin @friedmanjon NBC.com & @jimmyfallon for making our site a 2x Emmy winner! #
- Choosing Jif is a simple way to show someone you care? #
- Thanks for all the Emmy congrats. Huge credit to everything created on the actual TV show to help make the site as cool as it is. #
- If there's one lesson I've learned in life, it's that when it comes to garbage bags, you get what you pay for. #
- Quotes From The Guy Who Fully Recovered From Amnesia Except For His Memory of Airplanes: "Is that some sort of metal bird??!!!!" #
- It's a special Monday installment of "Totally Terrific Tweets!" (perhaps you're on the list) http://bit.ly/beNWbV #
- Overheard on my TV: "Are you stressed for cash? I'm Arsenio Hall…" #
- Having your umbrella blown inside out is more embarrassing than it should be. #
- After 8 years of research, my friend @MattDelllinger's book Interstate 69 is out today. Great read….check it out. http://is.gd/eAJoO #
- The browser on my blackberry loads the way my computer did in 1994. #burn #
- I've been neglecting my beeswax. #
- The Guy Who Thinks Everyone's Name is Alan: "Come in, Alan. Would you like a drink? Alan, will you get Alan a drink please? How is Alan?" #
- Terrell Owens and Ocho Cinco both have reality shows on VH1? What is this, Cincinnati Bengals Hits One? Am I right?! #
- This is the time of year when coat check attendants start to get depressed in anticipation of returning to work. #
- I was really pulling for Zeenoosh from planet Milgore 9 in this year's Miss Universe Pageant. #
- With all the money I've spent on shitty umbrellas, I could've bought the golden miracle umbrella by now. #
- One day, there was a moose. http://twitpic.com/2i2rx0 #
- I just ran into Donatello, he's like 35 and doesn't do any ninja stuff anymore. #
- When I have kids, I'm not going to let them drink any drink that ends in "drink." #
- If you have food in the corner of your mouth, I will dry heave. #especiallyifitscreamcheese #
- "Real IM's with FriedmanJon" me: i really want a cookie right now. joselynhughes: omg i'm eating one. me: holy crap. #
- As he gently caressed her breast. #aftermidnightsoftcoretweets #
- If my middle initial was a T. I'd use it all the time too. #
- If I ever rub a lamp and a genie comes out my first wish would be for him to get back inside until I'm done using the bathroom, pervert. #
